True

I get satisfaction out the strangest things. Its true but i guess its my awesome pleasure. I am feeling so much better which it is about time. I can have fun with my friends again adn i am feeling less agro even though the oldies r still at it... but anyway... i enjoy watching a tv show TRUE BLOOD which is actually really cool as it is just fucking awesome really there isnt much more i could say about it :) gotta love it. But i am feeling good that i am feeling good atm and lets hope that can last. I think it is cause its holidays adn i finally get away from that hell hole of a school which seems to care more for sports than education but what can u do.... i know i am better than it. i had very interesting convo today in which we discussed egos being built on physical appearance. At times i have a big ego and trust me my looks have niente to do with it LOL.... But i find it so interesting the times we take to make our selves look good to match out egos, well some of us anyway. I just think meh... is it worth it in the end

The Classics

The classics the old the tradition in which we live. The generation we call the baby boomers but most of us no them as out parents I have a quote from an amazing song by KMH
"the fiftys were sixty years ago, get over it."
i dont think i could of said it better myself. But its not just my oldes with their little comments about how we get everything handed to us on a golden plate and how hard they have had it bleh get the fuck over it honestly... Anyway apart from me oldies there is also the person who is telling me to act younger but then act older and then someone else who is telling me to grow up cause i no nothing but thats fine i dont mind that i just dont like the fact that im expected to be a role model and a kid at the same time. not only is that a tad contradictory but thats is just mentally retarted get ur story right ur just jealous that unlike u i have talent mofo so put that in ur pipe and smoke it......
So anyway i just want people to get over the views and values of the sixties and learn that gen. y is only as retarted as the people who made us.....

Meat

sizzling burning like a piece of steak thats how hot i am right now like a piece of meat in more than one way. How is it that people think that they have the right to be all nice to u and make u feel bad cause they have done soo much for u and then bam next second tell u were to go. Not a good way to keep people liking u. Something i used to love doing i now almost loathe. It makes me feel so fucking dam shit on the inside which really isnt good considerign my state of mind. everything is a royal pain in the fucking ass and i would love to make a shout out to all those mofos out there who think they have control over me. This weekend has been completely shit house startin from thursday night and i no a lot of people agree with me with the long list of events that have recently happen. This weekend was the life sucker of love, friendship and life in general not all for me though. I am lucky i still have my love with me cause i need it right now and i hope all my friends can jump out the burning pan aswell that has been this weekend...

Happiness

Is actually feeling a lot better today. Nothing happening until the darkness means all good fun. i think i needed some alone times away from everyone and everything. I am happy today i hope to god it lasts and i hope that everyone else stays happy today. U may be finding my posts more random as times goes on. I have issues telling people things so i guess this is simply my way of telling people without telling people. i like to write where no one can correct what i have to say but just embrace and it and understand that the interior me does not always express the exterior of me which is why i have a tendency to crack lately. Anyway i hope a merry day for all hopefully theorapudic and not methodic although method is good it is a safe haven of knwoing what ur doing...

Best Bird Cages

This ever chnaging way

Today has actually been a better day although i still think i am suffering from some deep seeded issues that need to be talked about but oh well. I think i use this blog as a way to just let go and be myself even if no one reads it still feels good for some reason i guess. I just think that the way i have been swinging in and out of moods lately is really annoying and crazy and could be the issue. Maybe i suffer from something a lot worse as well. As i can tell it is spreading. I see it has gone from just certain times at school to certain times at home as well. Time is catching up with me but i dont want to sleep...

Haha now this i find very amusing. I cant remember where i heard it but it needed to be put up. Yes this is for all the obnoxious people out there woo ... sometimes u take it too far

Just a general introduction

What and interesting time it has been lately. Everything is changing. I feel different and I feel everything around he is growing dying and that something is spreading through the air. There is so much crap and there is so much everything happening that I couldn't even begin to explain. Everything is crazy. The poetics and the aesthetics of growing up seem painful and as if every one is Holden Caulfield in there own way. I on one hand seem to be having his inescapable problem which is that why bother with my constant change of mood. I cant remember the last time I felt like this. My friend seems to be taking the issues of friends difficult and just like Holden needs people but can't seem to find anyway of getting close enough to them without getting hurt. One of my best friends like Holden is having issues letting go to people. He is a great person and will be missed when he leaves but even if he stayed I dont think it will be better for me. I just dont know anymore. Im lost in a world of my own. I place that i both love and resent. These things I feel on the inside feel to be spreading and getting worse but I wont tell anybody basically until today when i uttered those words i felt like i was going to break down. I guess once a month just isnt enough anymore. I guess nothing is. Things stay things change things just happen and i feel completely fucked over if you want to know the truth. But i guess there is nothing anymore. i guess there really isnt anything. I guess that life cant change when you dont want it and i think that reaching for the golden ring is useless. I fear the future yet i also feel anxious to what it holds. I want something more than i have and i want something more interesting. Yet i feel nothing that i do it good enough, mediocre is my new achievement and if i get there i will let you know...